


Therapy

by VenezuelanWriter



Series: Therapy [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canon Related, Episode Related, Episode: s02e18 Versus Zoom, Episode: s02e19 Back to Normal, Episode: s02e20 Rupture, Episode: s02e21 The Runaway Dinosaur, M/M, Rewritten Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-05 04:38:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6689437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter/pseuds/VenezuelanWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cisco is overwhelmed with the fact that Vibe is indeed being born. Barry has been trough the same, and the least he can do for his friend is to cheer him up, give him some advice. </p><p>(Tagged episodes re-written with Barry and Cisco as a couple).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Versus Zoom

**Author's Note:**

> (not beta'd, obviously).
> 
> Enjoy <3

Barry couldn't have been more excited when he realized Cisco was going to be their way to reopen the breaches. Cisco would finally have the chance to be a hero on the _field_. Using his powers. And since he knew it was a wonderful feeling, he was eager about his friend having the same experience.

Only, that Cisco had felt intimidated at the very last moment, and pretty much just ran his way out of there. He'd been really jumpy. Maybe it was connected somehow to the fact that earlier he'd had troubles getting his powers to function.

Screw that, it was _totally_ connected. 

And Barry actually knew how that was like. The first time he got his powers, before he learned how to use them... it was scary. And he wasn't even being pressured by the fact that a psychopath villain wanted to conquer the whole multiverse.

That's how he remembered: his friends had been there. His family. Even when in the beginnings Cisco and Caitlin weren't that close to him, they still had been there. And they remained there, later when he was learning new skills.

Joe, damn, he didn't even have the words. He'd always been his rock. Him, and since the moment he knew, Henry. 

(He wouldn't even recall how he felt about Dr. Wells for that moment, considering him his mentor and finding support in that man).

Whatever. He concluded that all Cisco needed was to remember that he was loved. That he had them, _real_ friends. That would be there for him, by his side the whole process.

He entered the engineer's workshop and found him working on his goggles.

"Hey, man." He said, and as he sighed he noticed what Cisco was doing and leaned against a desk. Cisco listened but didn't turn around.

"Look, ahm...I know what it's like, Zoom...getting in your head, how scary that can be.”

Cisco did a small gesture over his mouth. "It's not Zoom." He turned to face Barry on the stool he was sitting on. "It's me." He met Barry's eyes, which were quizzical.

"What you mean it's you?"

Cisco looked away. "It's like right now I'm Anakin Skywalker, I got the Minichorians, I got the goods, but the force is strong with me," he placed a palm on his chest. Barry fidgeted. "That is something I can feel, but" his eyes were looking for Barry's, and the speedster was sitting down on a stool himself. "If I start opening breaches into other worlds, and doing all this other crazy stuff Reverb was doing, then..." He sighed, Barry lifted his eyebrows, expectant. Their eyes met once again. "What if this is how I become Vader?"

Barry actually almost smirked. "Dude, you're never gonna become Vader."

"You don't know that," Barry opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted. "That is what happened to Reverb, he... learned how to use his abilities and when he felt that," he placed his hand on his chest again, "when he felt that power... he succumbed. To the dark side."

Barry scoffed, smiling. Because even to explain  _this_ , Cisco was using a Star Wars analogy.

"Look, I get it, I- I really do. And every time I've learned a new ability I've been terrified about what it might mean for me, what it could do to me, you know? But..." he sighed. He had Cisco’s full attention. "You were there with me. When I learned how to run on water..." He smiled and his eyes were bright. "When I ran up a building, or... traveled through time..." He managed a smile out of Cisco. "Just like I'm gonna be there. Every step on the way with you. You have something that Reverb never had and that's... Caitlin and Joe and Iris and Wells and  _me_. Friends who're gonna look out for you."

He made a small pause, and Cisco nodded.

"And you and I, you know we're more than just friends, Cisco." He rose from his stool, stepped in front of Cisco. "I'm never leaving you alone, alright?" He cupped Cisco's face. It was natural. Cisco didn't pull apart. He liked this. It made him feel safe. Barry placed a soft kiss on his mouth, and Cisco returned it.

Since they'd started this... thing, the two of them, they felt like they were in some kind of therapy. Because it was fucking _therapeutic_ to kiss each other. And in moments like these, when support and comfort and physical but also emotional back-up was needed, their thing just made perfect sense in the entire universe.

Barry deepened the kiss -just a little, he kept it sweet- and pulled apart kissing Cisco's upper lip briefly.

As he caressed Cisco's pectorals over his shirt, he asked, "So what do you say? Ready to put those things on and go for another round?"

Cisco sounded determined when he replied, "Let's do it."


	2. Back To Normal

It's been five days.  _Five_.

Five days in which Barry has had to force himself to get used to being back to normal again. What sucked  _so_  much. His life was already normal for him with superspeed; his routine was based on it- depended on it.

Now, besides dealing with the fact that he doesn't have a way to fight Zoom (other than his CSI skills, that, alright, people had to stop acting like they'd be actually helpful to take Zoom down), he doesn't have a way to save Caitlin, and hey, Wells has just been taken as well, he has to do his best at keeping up with life's real pace.

"Don't watch that," Cisco's voice fills his ears, and interrupts his train of thoughts. The TV is turned off and he turns to face his friend.

He leans on the desk, and Cisco does the exact same thing on the other side to reach for a kiss. It's short, and they're pretty uncomfortable like that, but it's not like they can take the risk of Iris or Jesse coming in to find about their  _thing_.

Which, by the way, they hadn't discussed the terms of really well. Not like they cared too much about terms, but whatever.

They pull apart slowly and share a soft glance. 

"I was thinking," Cisco starts, now taking a step back, because yeah they must be careful, "there's has to be at least one good thing about not having your speed".

Barry lifts his eyebrow, incredulous and with this sad-and-depressed-look in his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Of course. I mean, not everything can be bad, right? And you're going to get your powers back, trust me." Barry sighs, Cisco is so optimistic it hurts. "But haven't you thought about the fact that you can actually get drunk again?" He asks, excited.

Barry offers a sad smile. "Thanks, Cisco. And no, I haven't thought about it, but I'm not actually in the mood for drinking."

"I can get that. But promise me that before you get your speed back, you're going to have drinks with me." Cisco is almost begging him, and how could Barry deny this offer?

"Sure." He doesn't know if everyone's going to be safe before he gets his speed back, but since the latter might take them long, he really hopes so and he's going to bet on that. "Promise."

* * *

Luckily, that night they managed to beat Griffin and save Wells. And, twice as fortunately, in the following 12 hours they were able to establish communication with Caitlin through Cisco's vibes and they helped her use Killer Frost to her advantage to return to Earth 1.

And since everybody was partially safe (or at least safe enough), Barry is that night at Cisco's place having some of his best whiskey.

"I missed this so much." He says as he sips the drink, feeling how it kicks him in immediately. 

"I don't know how you've lived without it for two years," Cisco says, he's sitting on the other end of the couch.

"Me neither, actually." And something he thinks but keeps to himself is that he doesn't know, either, how Cisco has survived all their bro nights without sharing with someone the feeling of being drunk.

 

 

Eventually, they are both wiped out, making out on the couch. 

Cisco in on top of Barry necking him and Barry realizes that he actually had forgotten about this, too. About being built up without his powers getting in the way of it.

(Okay so he didn't completely hate his powers during sex, but it was just awesome to relive these moments at a regular, human speed).

Barry grinds against Cisco's leg, lets him know what he wants. 

Cisco gets it because it's not like he _couldn't_ have felt Barry's dick getting hard on his jeans.

"Bar," he whispers, low enough just for Barry to listen. He looks up to meet a closed-eyed and tired Barry.

"Yeah?" he breathes out.

"We shouldn't. You're drunk." He passes his thumb over Barry's cheekbone as if he's sorry about what he's saying.

"I'm not that drunk," Barry replies, and he sounds really convincing by the tone he uses. "Plus, we've done this sober before." _There_ he had a point. "Please, Cisco?" He's using his puppy eyes. His reserved-for-ultra-necessary-occasions big puppy eyes. He lifts his hips again, this time, slower.

Cisco's eyes close feeling the shape of Barry's member against his leg.

"Alright, Bar. Since I know how bad you want it." Cisco gives in and proceeds to French-kiss him. 

He's tender with Barry. They are that way with each other. Cisco takes his pants off, massages him through his underwear, then removes that as well and after some warming up he takes Barry in his mouth, giving him all the pleasure he deserves. Cisco is not able to actually deep throat him, but it doesn't matter for any of them. 

When Barry comes, it's not in Cisco's mouth, because that's not what they do. It's alright the way things are, however. He recovers from his orgasm (mind-blowing orgasm. Super speed kind of ruined the post-orgasm dizziness.) and returns Cisco the favor.

Or not favor, because that sounds like when you do something for someone so then they owe you one. No, this wasn't whatever they had. They actually cared about one another and did this because they wanted to make the other feel good. It was part of their not-really-conventional (but absolutely effective) therapy. 

And that's why it isn't awkward when they wake up the next day curled around each other. Or when they go to have breakfast outside like a married old couple.

Just like it's not weird when they decide that maybe this has to stop -this messed up method they have to comfort each other- so it can become something greater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it wasn't completely canon since Caitlin isn't back yet, but I highly doubt Barry would be up for drinks if any of his friends were in such danger as she currently is.


	3. Rupture

This hologram trick Cisco came up with is awesome and it has worked with the crime that had stroke CC these days, but Barry also knows Harry has a good point when he says that sooner or later people would notice it’s not real.

What Barry wants the most is to get his speed back. He has to stop Zoom, he can’t let him win. Not without trying everything he can to stop him.

Harry comes with this solution of recreating the particle accelerator and Barry would’ve thought it was an easy decision. Turns out it’s not easy at all.

He knows he’d risk his life and that if something comes out wrong it could harm the city. He knows is not completely safe. He knows this could end up in a disaster, but… he also knows that if this works, then he’s going to be The Flash again and his city needs The Flash. Not to mention that he doesn’t even think he could live without his speed again.

(Even when normal speed sex with Cisco is blowing his mind constantly.)

_“It looks like the vacuum,” Cisco says, he’s analyzing what Harry is showing him, Jesse, Caitlin, and Iris._

_Caitlin smirks at Cisco’s reference._

_“What’s the vacuum?” Jesse asks._

_“No Fringe on Earth 2. Noted.”_

_“What is that thing?” Iris finally asks._

_“That is how Barry is gonna get his speed back,” Harry explains._

_Cisco turns around and exchanges a look with Caitlin._

_“This is what you’ve been working on in the workshop?” He asks._

_“Someone has to worry about Zoom,” Harry answers._

_“Okay, Barry cannot do this,” Cisco states._

_“It’s too dangerous,” Caitlin agrees._

_“He has to, Ramon.”_

_“You keep calling me that, but that’s-” Then he vibes Dante and without giving any kind of explanation he leaves._

_Cisco misses Henry’s arrival at STAR._

 

 

Barry gets his dad, tries to find a solution. Apparently it just makes everything worse. He wanted his opinion, but now that he’s around, Barry just accidentally overheard a conversation between him, Harry and Joe where his dad tried to convince Joe to oppose to Harry’s idea. Barry doesn’t want him to make decisions for him, either.

 

 

At night, Cisco arrives at STAR and explains what just happened to him and Dante on their way out of a bar.

“He calls himself Rupture,” Harry explains. He showed a photo of Earth 2 database and Barry, Caitlin and Iris are analyzing it. “Another metahuman under Zoom’s control from my Earth.”

Cisco is rubbing his temples trying to calm himself, listening to Harry’s words and feeling like his luck couldn’t get worse.

“Great, so he’s bringing more of his friends over,” Iris says from her spot sitting on the desk.

“That’s what Zoom told me he’d do,” Caitlin participates.

“Ok, well, Zoom must’ve lied to Fake Dante and told him I was the one who killed Reverb ‘cause dude wants me dead,” Cisco explains. “We gotta do something.”

“What else do you know about him?” Barry asks Harry and oh right, he was there. He hadn’t said a word until then.

“He gets his powers from that scythe,” Harry answers. Cisco crosses one arm and rests the other on it, holding his chin.

“And the thing is damn effective, he almost took half the van with him,” he explains, recalling the moment.

Barry comes from behind the desk to stand in front of him.

“Alright, so that’s what we need to do. We have to figure out a way to get it away from him.” He subtly looks for Cisco’s eyes, trying to help him see this does have a solution.

“Yes, if that’s his weakness then we disable him to catch him without your speed,” Caitlin says.

“Right,” Cisco says, his fingers massaging his forehead. “Okay, alright.” He sighs.” I’m sure I can come up with something, I just have to figure out a way to not to tell Dante why this psychopath looks exactly like him.” His tone is frustrated. He doesn’t wait for anyone else to say something to leave to sort out his mess.

Barry follows him, stops him in the hallway.

“Hey,” he says.

Cisco turns around, relieved.

“Hi,” he muffles. There’s desperation in his eyes and not from the sexy kind.

“Let’s talk for a minute,” Barry offers. They go to Barry’s little workroom. He doesn’t spend much time in there but right now Cisco’s workshop is Harry’s territory too and this room was apart enough from the cortex for them to be worried about being caught.

Once inside, Barry closes the thin door. The small space has a computer, a desk, a plastic board a laptop, of course there’s a phone charger plugged into the wall and there’s also Barry’s backpack.

“So,” Cisco starts but doesn’t say anything else.

“I know you don’t want me to go with Harry’s plan,” Barry says, low-headed.

“Of course not,” Cisco says and looks around. When his eyes fall on Barry again, he can say he’s confused. “Hey, c’mere.” He opens his arms and Barry walks into them, hugging him back. “It’s just- I understand. I know you want to get your speed back and I know you want to take down Zoom, you _need_ to do it and we’ll help you do it, but it’s so risky.” Cisco pulls apart gently, wants to look Barry in the eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Cisco, you’ll _never_ lose me.” He holds Cisco’s chin. Cisco nods. “I’m not sure of what I’m going to do yet. I mean I am almost sure I’ll end up taking the risk, but –I just don’t wanna feel pressured because you wouldn’t support me.”

“Oh, shut up, drama queen, you know I’m with you.” Cisco gets a smile out of Barry.

“Thanks. You mean so much, Cisco.” He kisses him gently and tenderly.

“You know you’re my man.” Cisco replies, he kisses him again and he feels butterflies in his low stomach. “Now, I really need to talk to Dante,” annoyance is in his expression.

“About that, we’ll figure it out. Together. You’re the mastermind, though. I know we’ll come up with a solution, alright?” A small nod. “Don’t overstress.”

“I’ll try.” Hi gives Barry a quick peck on his cheek before he steps out of his workstation and leaves.

Barry is left with a dumb smile on his face despite the rest of his situation.

* * *

Cisco gets a vibe, he sees Zoom talking to himself –why do evil guys keep doing that?- and he had been saying his next target was Jitters.

Barry takes the opportunity to participate his opinion. He is willing to take the risk _only_ if it’s not dangerous for him and the city (though what he cares about the most is the city), so he is decided to do this without his speed.

While the CCPD is already installing at Jitters, Cisco confesses Dante he’s a meta. It’s not easy, at first Dante doesn’t believe him and when he does he thinks Cisco killed Reverb.

Cisco tells him he has to leave to help his friends and so he does, hoping it doesn't distract him what just happened.

 

 

“You’re all set, Cisco?” Joe asks from the walkie-talkie.

“Yeah, all set,” he replies, still wanting some confirmation from Barry, who nods.

“Here he comes,” Joe adds.

Rupture breaks the glass doors, enters the unexpectedly empty local and the hologram appears in the scene. Barry is moving from side to side in the van while Rupture attempts to hit him with his scythe.

“Alright, time to win an Oscar,” Cisco turns around and tells Barry.

“Let’s do it,” he replies, confident.

After a few more moves, Joe and then Captain Singh are able to shoot Reverb to immobilize him and then handcuff him.

Barry is watching the events from the security cameras footage and he smiles from ear to ear.

“Didn’t expect any less from you,” Cisco tells him.

Then everything goes south because Zooms is watching the news and he learns his plan didn’t succeed. He goes to Jitters and kills pretty much everyone in there –everyone but those who he knows Caitlin cares about.

Cisco and Barry are in the van, watching what’s happening and obviously, Barry has to go there and put his life in jeopardy.

“Barry, don’t!” Cisco tries, but Barry is already on his way.

Zoom kills Reverb and everything happens too fast; Cisco is in awe.

Zoom warns them that the city is going to suffer, that he doesn’t want them to get on his way. He also makes sure that the citizens get such message. He speeds out and leaves a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness in everyone –Joe, Captain Singh, Barry, Cisco and the city.

 

They head back to STAR; it’s a long and silent ride. Neither of them wants to talk about it and they know it’s probably the best choice.

Cisco goes to talk to Dante, who had connected the dots and Cisco realizes that he can’t keep this, that this has to change. He hugs Dante with his heart and they know that from now on things will be different.

When he goes to the cortex again he finds Harry showing Barry and the rest of the team a list of Earth 2 metahumans that will probably come here to destroy his city if he doesn’t get his speed back soon.

“Let’s do it,” Barry says, finally agreeing to Harry’s plan. “I wanna do it.” Harry is content and Barry looks for approval in Cisco’s eyes. His gaze is doubtful.

Barry gives a short speech about another kid who will grow without his mom  and also explains why is his responsibility that Zoom has so much power: at the same time that he unprotected the city, he enabled Hunter to cause this much hurt.

“I need my powers back.” He looks between Cisco and Caitlin and turns to Harry. “Let’s do it. Let’s set off the particle accelerator.”

* * *

Barry takes his suit to change into it –he can’t do it like he used to do it- and goes to the restrooms to do so. Cisco catches him up.

“Hey, Barry,” Cisco tells him entering the space where the sinks were. Barry turns around to the sound of his voice.

“I’ll be fine, Cisco.” Barry immediately says and pulls him into a hug, holding his- their suit behind Cisco’s back.

“I have to believe that,” Cisco says, he’s between nervous and mortified.

“Look,” he pulls back. “Harry has this thing sorted out. No one will get hurt and I’ll get my powers back.” He looks him in the eyes and Cisco nods vehemently.

“Barry, if anything goes wrong, I need to tell you that you’re more than the physical affection -the kisses, the sex. It’s not just that, alright?”

“You think that that is what this is for me?” Barry shakes his head. “Cisco, listen, I know maybe we didn’t establish terms or something but for me, it was never that.” Cisco nods, lets him know that he’s listening and understanding. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Cisco answers smiling.

“Alright. It’s going to work just fine. I know you’ll make sure of that.” Barry gives Cisco a quick peck on the lips. “Now I’m gonna change into this.”

“How antiquated, right?” Cisco jokes. Barry giggles and mumbles something that sounds like an agreement. He gets in the stall and Cisco smiles. “As if I haven’t seen you naked already.”

Barry laughs behind the door, getting into their suit. “I guess I’m a shy guy, then.” His tone is playful.

Cisco listens to zippers roll down and he guesses they’re from Barry’s jeans. He is picturing him already getting out of them when his thoughts are interrupted.

“Hey, what happened with Dante?” Barry asks stepping into the bottom part of the suit.

“Oh. Well after what happened at Jitters… I couldn’t help but realizing that I had to save my relationship with my brother, man. He… is the closest family I have and I can’t lose him. We’ve already been distant for most of our lives.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Barry says, his voice muffled by his shirt going over his head. “I knew you and that big heart of you would figure things out”.

“Yeah… though he considered I had killed Reverb and that kinda sucked but I guess he doesn’t completely know me.”

Barry opens the stall door and he's wearing that red suit he had missed so much.

Cisco smiles at the sight.

“You look damn sexy in that thing, God.” He whispers taking a step in and standing on his tiptoes to kiss Barry. Barry smiles because he feels Cisco; he’s real and pure. There're sweetness and hope in the kiss, and there’s also Cisco’s damn spirit that is being completely handed over to him right now.

Cisco takes Barry’s lower lip in his and teases him a little, he still is scared and wants to make sure he is able to hold on to Barry, attach to him even in the distance.

Barry is nervous too and he can feel Cisco is now kissing out of fear. He pulls apart and caresses his cheek.

“It’ll work, babe. C’mon, I need you to face this with me.” He tells him before he takes his hand to get out of the restrooms.

* * *

They’re at the breach room, Cisco and Harry setting up the device. Iris asks how does it work is and Cisco puts it as an “abbreviated version of the accelerator Evil Wells built”, with of course some changes to direct the energy to Barry’s body instead to the entire city.

Joe says that the last thing they need are more metas running around Central City, and then his daughter asks:

“So… Barry just gets in, you turn it on and that’s it?”

That’s when Harry explains that they don’t need to recreate just the explosion, but also what happened to Barry: getting struck by lightning.

“But how are you guys gonna do that? It’s not even raining outside.” Iris wondered.

“Well, Ramon,” Harry turned to Cisco. “You got the wound.”

“The one I made for Mark Mardon?” He asks, unsure.

“No, the one you built for the Harry Potter Convention.” Harry replies, sarcastically. “ _Yes_ , of course, the one you built for Mardon.”

“How d’you know about the Harry Potter convention?” He asks. Harry ignores him and then instructs him to go to the roof to use the wound to create the storm. Cisco follows his instructions and once in the rooftop, he asks:

 “So I’m just supposed to stay here in the middle of a lightning storm?” He’s scared, but Barry won’t do this alone. Barry needs him and this will be for him.

Caitlin calms him down telling him that the chances of being struck by lightning are minimal and then Harry explains Barry about the clasps that will keep him in position.

Barry wonders if Cisco is listening to this, if he’d listen to the whole process. He wishes Cisco were here, in his eyesight, but he knows Cisco is with him whether he can see him or not.

Barry assures one last time that he’s going to be fine, that he’s good and that he hasn’t changed his mind.

“Hey, Cisco?” Barry says, knowing Cisco is listening.

“Yeah?” Cisco replies, his heart beats faster since he didn’t expect to listen to Barry’s voice.

“You _know_. And thank you.”  Barry says. He had totally meant it as an “I love you”. But Cisco knows and he’s not going to make that compromising statement right now.

“Always.” Cisco replies. He knows what he knows and actually if they had more time –he’ll just say it when this is over anyway- he’d clarify that Barry doesn’t even need to thank him for this.

“You ready, Allen?” Harry asks and he nods. “Alright, then. Here we go.” Harry sets off the accelerator and when chemicals hit his system, tears spill down Barry’s face as he screams in what seems and sounds like a big amount of pain.

“Almost there,” Harry pushes. “Ready, Ramon?”

“Ready.” Cisco is confident.

“Now!” Harry indicates.

“Expectro Patronum!” Cisco exclaims with the wound up towards the sky, hoping Barry is still listening. They had watched that movie together multiple times, and there is no way Barry doesn’t remember that it means _I await a guardian_. Cisco is thinking of all those amazing memories of knowing Barry –of the lucky he’s been to know him and have the chance to grow with him–, calling them up and hoping desperately that they protect his friend. Or whatever they were now.

Barry is glad he got to listen to that through the speakers. He knows it’s a message for him only. He is not able to analyze it completely, but he gets the feeling of safety Cisco’s voice provide him reminding him until the very last time that he is here with him, in the middle of a pretty terrifying lightning storm because he’s worth it and because he loves him.

The wave of energy hits him and goes through his body while Barry keeps screaming as if it was burning him, then his face and body start disintegrating in that same moment and there’s a big explosion (one that they don’t know it just hit Wally and Jesse).

After the lightning bolt hits the satellite, Cisco rushes over to the breach room.

“It worked,” he says, oblivious to what just happened. “Is everyone okay?” He notices some smoke in the air, looks around and doesn’t spot Barry. “What happened?”

Everyone is in shock; their eyes are all over the place but focused on the accelerator. Barry is gone and they just saw him _disappear_. Joe and Iris can’t believe his eyes, and neither does Cisco. That’s why he steps in, trying to get a better look at the situation, because Barry couldn’t just have exploded, disappeared –fucking vanished? Because of everything they’ve seen, they had never witnessed someone just disintegrating.

Henry is trying to put the pieces together and to internalize what he just saw. Harry looks guilty like if he can’t be sorry enough for doing that to all of them, for doing that to Barry. Had he really killed him with his blind ambition? Had it been too much? Had his math been wrong?

Caitlin gasps and her eyes are on the verge of tears. Then Hunter arrives and takes in his terrifying, dirty and unworthy claws Barry’s ripped apart suit. Caitlin covers her mouth with both hands, frightened at the sight. 

“You thought you could give The Flash his speed back? Well done, you killed him instead.”

He leaves, and Cisco’s eyes are watery and he literally can’t believe he _just_ lost Barry. That’s not an option. There has to be a logical explanation, _but Barry did not die._


	4. The Runaway Dinosaur

“Barry… he’s gone.” Iris whispers, immediately burying herself in her dad’s embrace to cry.

“This wasn’t… I didn’t…” Harry says; he is still unable to formulate words. “I’m so sorry.”

“We lost him,” Henry says, low-headed, sitting on the stairs.

Caitlin starts sobbing and after all she's lost, she would've thought that losses stop hurting this much. But losing Barry? Who'd been a rock for her through the toughest times? Just as Cisco, that's almost all she has left now from the good old times. 

Cisco is the only one who’s not accepting the truth, the only one in denial.

“No, no, no, no.” Cisco starts. “He… could’ve gotten somewhere or even run there.” Cisco goes to the computer. “Nothing in the GPS.”

Everyone else is trying to assimilate the facts but he is not going to do that yet. He can’t.

"Cisco..." Caitlin tries and goes to stand beside him. "He's gone." Tears are rolling  down her face and he hugs her optimistically.

"He's not- he can't be." She lets go and stays by his side. Cisco isn't paying attention to anything else than the computer anymore, so he doesn’t realize that Joe, Iris, and Harry go upstairs until Joe’s back, alarmed since Wally and Jesse were hit by the explosion.

Joe is asking Henry and Caitlin to go upstairs to help them and Cisco goes to kneel in front of Barry’s suit –of what’s left of it, anyway.

He is scared this might actually be the only thing left from him, that when he tries to vibe it he sees something awful, like Barry suffering or dead.

Cisco slowly places his hand on the suit emblem and feels the vibe arriving. He sees Barry in the middle of a blue wind, confused, with lightning bolts around him.

Cisco blinks and gasps, suddenly full of hope.

“I saw him!” He exclaims and Joe, Henry, and Caitlin turn to him, surprised. “I saw Barry, he’s alive.” He states, happy, still unsure of the exact circumstances of everything but relieved that he’s not dead and he doesn’t seem to be in pain.

 

When they're all upstairs, Iris had taken Wally home and Wells was by her daughter’s bedside.

“Cisco says Barry’s still alive,” Henry tells Harry. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” He answers distantly, still focused on Jesse.

“Harry,” Cisco tells him anxiously, “I vibed him in like the center of a storm, he was like in a vortex or something.”

Harry’s mind lit up.

“He’s in... He’s in the Speedforce.”

Henry explodes, he demands answers and he wants his son back. Joe calms him down and it’s not until later with a much clearer mind that he’s finally able to join Caitlin and to check Jesse’s condition with her.

Iris comes back and Caitlin and Henry explain her and Cisco that Jesse should be waking up already. Caitlin asks Cisco for Barry’s records from the first accident since they might be useful to understand Jesse’s stage, and Iris goes with him to the storage room slash morgue to find said records.

When Cisco finds Barry’s ex-file, apparently Zombie Girder comes out of the morgue section of the basement.

 _What the fuck?_  Cisco thinks, terrified as Girder is throwing everything away. He wants to be a man and protect Iris, but she’s a badass and prefers to be the one in front. Girder escapes and they rush over upstairs to explain the situation to Joe, Henry, and Caitlin.

Harry is listening as well and Joe goes to Jesse’s bedside too to talk to him and tell him that they might put down all those fires burning at the same time if they worked together. He asks him once again to work with Cisco to find Barry, just as Henry has Caitlin to keep working on Jesse’s situation.

Harry puts his glasses on and agrees, realizing that Joe is actually right.

 

Wells and Cisco go to the breach room. Wells already has in mind what they’re going to do, so he explains it to Cisco and when Cisco is about to put the artifact in his head, he asks:

“So how do we know this is safe?”

“Well, define safe.” Henry shots back.

“Safe as in my brain’s not gonna melt.”

Harry gives a long explanation only a nerd can understand about how the ‘simple feedback loop’ works, but Cisco’s mind stopped listening at a certain point.

“I’m sorry, did you say electrically stimulate?” he asks concerned.

“Ramon, do you want to bring Barry back or not?”

If Harry only knew how much he _needed_ to bring him back.

Cisco sighs, “Okay….” He proceeds to vibe the suit. It is hard at first to focus and to function with that thing in his head, but he puts all his effort on it and he manages to get to the same place as before.

He spots Barry in the middle of the storm, distant.

“Barry!” he screams, but Barry doesn’t seem to listen to him. “Barry, turn around!” He tries again with his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice.

Barry turns to him, but doesn’t reply nor does anything.

Cisco extends his arm. “Take my hand!” Barry looks him in the eyes. “Do it, take my hand!” Cisco insists. “Please, don’t leave me, Bar. Don’t leave us.”

Barry sighs and turns around once more. “Barry!” Cisco’s hopeful expression vanishes, noticing how Barry turns his back to him.

Cisco gets out of the storm; apparently he’s created a vortex around him in here, too and not just in his head. He breathed heavily, tired.

“Cisco! Hey Cisco, can you hear me?” Iris asks hurriedly running to him.

"What happened?" Caitlin asks as the enters the room shortly after the Wests and notices everybody is alarmed.

Cisco nods slowly to Iris' words and explains the facts. “I saw him… Barry, he turned to me… I’m sorry. I lost him.” He takes the gadget off his head, rubbing his eyes with his palm. He’s sad, disappointed of himself. He just failed Barry, the team, even himself.

Iris and Joe leave again to solve their Girder inconvenient after they make sure everything is alright.

Caitlin notices how frustrated Cisco is and feels the need to encourage him. She sits next to him and puts a comforting hand on his back.

"You will do it, alright? I know. You just have to focus and trust your abilities." 

Cisco nods and doesn't find anything appropriate to say. " _I know." "I'm afraid I can't." "I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't come back."_

He just leans on her shoulder briefly before she excuses herself politely since she has to go back upstairs, where she's needed right now. Cisco is left with Harry again.

“Ramon, what happened exactly?” He asks from his spot behind the controls.

Cisco takes a deep breath, he hopes he can explain this without falling apart.

“I saw him, Harry. I talked to him, I asked him to take my hand and he didn’t.” 

And maybe he still isn’t Harry’s favorite person, but the older man doesn’t hate him, either, and he wouldn’t be a dick about this with Cisco.

“Ramon, I know it must be hard for you, but it’s not your fault.” Harry steps in front of the desk, approaching Cisco.

“I know, but I just feel like I failed. Harry, I mean- can I tell you something?” He’s desperate, he needs to talk to someone and Harry is here, watching him almost fall apart and still being supportive.

“I think you’re going to tell me anyway,” he replies with his 'humoristic' tone.

“He’s a lot to me. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but-”

“Oh, of course I have,” Harry says and Cisco’s eyes widen. “I have eyes, Ramon. And I have a daughter; I’ve learned to read people –young people.” He sits beside Cisco and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m not sure of how, but I know you two are more than just best friends.” Cisco nods slowly, trying not to freak about the fact that Harry knows. “And I know we’re going to find a way to get him back. Don’t worry.”

Cisco nods again. “Harry I can’t lose him,” He shrugs sadly.

“You won’t.”

Cisco remains silent and doesn’t even feel the need to ask him to keep the secret; he knows he won’t say a word anyway.

 

Iris and Joe figure out a way to get Girder and eventually they bring him back to STAR Labs.

Harry and Cisco after their little heart to heart had taken care of that so they dissembled STAR MRI machine to set up electromagnets that would get Girder caught in the field that they generate and should disrupt the energy wave that had turned him “ _Abby Normal_ ”.

Iris offers herself as bait again for Girder, but Joe is not letting her do that.

“Wait,” Cisco says, considering for the first time something different than the fact that he’d failed when he vibed Barry. “I saw Barry, he had this look….What if we couldn’t get him out of the Speedforce because he didn’t want to come back?” Nobody replies and he tells Harry to turn the feedback loop on again. “You got a better idea?”

Harry follows instructions and Henry asks if someone else can look into the Speedforce while Cisco does. Harry explains that "as long as they’re in physical contact with Ramon", they can.

Henry wants to do that after he learns that it’s possible, but Iris thinks she’s a better choice.

Cisco is aware of their romantic past (actually _Barry’s_ romantic past, she’d only returned the feelings in a timeline that hadn’t occurred and that Cisco unfortunately remembered) just like everyone else knows he’s been in love with her since forever, but he wished he could decline cordially her offer. He would rather be alone with Barry this time too.

However, he nods. Harry looks at him knowing that it must not be what Cisco actually wants but that he’s too humble to admit.

Iris takes Cisco’s hand and he vibes again Barry’s suit.

“Barry, come home to me,” Cisco listens to Iris say in his head, though he can't see her this time. He is like a bridge for her, but he actually isn't in the vortex like before and all he sees is a blue hurricane around him.

They’re suddenly sucked out of the field of energy and Barry is here, in front of them.

“Barry!” Henry exclaims and hugs Joe.

“Barry!” Iris cheers, hugging him tight.

Caitlin smiles and also hugs Henry, feeling like a part of her has just come back to life (it actually has). 

Cisco’s hand are pressed together in front of his mouth, his smile can't be wider.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Cisco says from his heart, then adds, “because we’re about to die.” He points the door.

“Wait, what?” Barry asked, confused.

They explain him quickly the Girder situation and he comes up with a distraction while Harry and Cisco try to fix the electromagnets problem.

Cisco notices Barry has his speed, and he thinks he couldn’t be happier since at least everything had been worth it.

Barry fights Tony and starts running around him, using the spin to charge the magnets. It works and Tony dies again.

“Sorry, I got lost.” He said tiredly after Tony is down.

“It’s ok, we found you,” Iris replies.

Barry goes upstairs to see Jesse and everyone goes with him. He touches her hand and there’s a lightning that passes through their hands before Jesse wakes up.

They’re all confused –including Jesse, who doesn’t know how she got there- and Harry knows it was the Speedforce what made that possible.

 

Now that he’s comfortable in his STAR sweater and a pair of sweats, Barry needs a moment with Cisco. He goes to the breach room and finds him putting away the magnets with Harry. He knocks on the doorway of the room and when Harry sees him, he doesn’t wait for anyone to ask him for it to leave them alone.

“Why did he leave voluntarily?” Barry asks confused when Harry’s gone. He starts walking toward Cisco, who doesn’t hesitate on meet him halfway with open arms. They hug each other strongly and Barry is kissing softly Cisco’s temples.

“He… he knows. He knew.” Cisco says and Barry pulls apart a little. He hasn’t said a word yet but his frowned eyebrows are enough. Cisco resumes their hug. “I don’t know, either, but he has noticed we’re _more than just best friends_.”

“Should I be worried?” Barry asks him.

“Nah, he’s not talking. Now just hug me, please.”  Cisco buried his head in the crook of Barry’s neck.

“I can do that,” Barry replies, pressing the shorter man against his body.

“I thought I had lost you, I panicked, I didn’t know what I’d do without you, I-”

“I’m right here,” Barry soothes holding him tight by his waist. They spend that way a couple of moments and then Barry breaks the hug to take Cisco’s hand in his.

“Cisco, uhm, would you want to visit my mom’s grave with me?” He’s unsure if this is something nice to ask; the last thing he wants is to unsettle Cisco.

“Of course, man, I mean, if you want me to I’d be honored.” Cisco nods and his eyes brighten.

“Yeah, I’d love that.” Barry tucks Cisco’s soft hair behind his ear and kisses him softly. He could spend his whole life like this. “I’m gonna talk to my dad, but I’d love to spend the night with you.” Barry whispers in Cisco’s ears, smiling.

Cisco nods. “It’s what I would like to do the most.”

 

 

Barry gives Cisco a lift to his own place, and they get there in less than four seconds.

“Do you want me to cook something?” Cisco asks him when they enter his apartment and they take their shoes off. Cisco is already walking to the kitchen checking what’s in his refrigerator.

“I don’t know, it’s faster if I go and bring pizza or just whatever you want,” Barry shrugs from behind Cisco’s kitchen counter.

“Alright, I’ll reformulate the question. What do you want me to cook? I mean, you’re back from the Speedforce and you have your speed back. It deserves something special.”

Barry smiles tenderly. “Just whatever you want, really. If you cook it then it’s gonna be delicious.”  He knows that from all the food Cisco made him when he couldn’t walk, back then when everything hadn’t started yet (but it was about to).

Cisco rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll make arepas. Y’know, the thing I had for breakfast the other day, which you pretty much adored," Cisco tells him showing off his cooking abilities.

“Oh my God yes! That day I wanted one for myself!” He says excitedly, remembering the occasion from two weeks ago.

“Yeah, plus it doesn’t take too long to prepare.”

Barry stays in the kitchen while Cisco cooks, watching him prepare the dough and then putting the round things on the pan.

(So basically, these things traditional from some place in Latin America are made of corn and all you had to do was to add water to the premade flour that was sold at supermarkets, then make balls and flatten them to put them on the pan. Then you stuffed them with whatever you wanted. God bless Cisco’s family for teaching him that recipe.)

While Cisco makes enough arepas for both of them and thinks about their filling to prepare it, Barry stands behind him and rests his chin on Cisco’s shoulder.

“We need to talk, y’know.” Barry mutters.

“What about?” Cisco asks him, placing the last arepa on the pan.

“The Speedforce.” He takes a step back, allowing Cisco to move to the sink to wash his hands. “It’s huge. It’s so weird, I gotta tell you about it.”

Cisco dries his hands and turns around, leaning on the counter.

“I’d rather know first why you didn’t take my hand when I tried to get you back. I’m not jealous or anything and I’m glad you’re here,” he opens his arms and Barry takes the invitation into them, “safe, and all speedy again, but you did take Iris’ hand.” He’s resting his arms on Barry’s shoulders and Barry is holding his waist softly.

“What?” Barry has actually no idea what Cisco is talking about.

“The first time we tried to contact you. I asked you not to leave me and you turned your back to me. I believed I had failed.” Cisco lowers his head. Their decibels are so low that only they can listen to their words.

“No, no, no, Cisco,” Barry takes his chin and cups his face. “You don’t know. I mean, when I was there I saw no faces. Just the storm. I didn’t listen to that. Or anything, actually. The Speedforce told me-”

“Wait, the Speedforce can talk?”

“Oh man, yeah. That first time, when now I know it was you trying to get me, it told me that if I came back to my friends it’d be without my speed. Then they made my find peace with my mom’s death and I got it back. That’s when the second try happened and I came back. But baby, it wasn’t because it was you or not, I swear.” He kisses Cisco’s forehead.

“Oh my God, I’m so glad to hear that.”

“I’d never turn my back on you like that,” Barry says and he leans in to kiss him. It’s sweet at first, but the hold on his waist tightens and it quickly turns it into something hotter. Barry presses Cisco’s middle against him and opens his mouth to make Cisco do the same.

“Bar,” Cisco whispers in the middle of the kiss.

“Mm?”

“I want to feel you. All of you,” He rubs his nose against Barry’s neck and bites his earlobe.

“You already have, baby,” Barry whispers, his thumbs caress Cisco’s lower back.

“I know. But tonight I’m gonna fuck you so hard that not ever you speed healing will help the limping tomorrow.”

“I’d love that, Cisco. Please,” Barry has his fingers tentatively brushing Cisco’s ass, but _oh right_ arepas are on the pan and they’re burning and Cisco is running to them because it’s starting to smell bad.

“It’s all under control!” Cisco declares from the stoves. “They’ll survive.” Barry giggles at Cisco’s announcements and he feels special to have found this guy.

 

They have dinner in bed –they had ended up stuffing the arepas with scrambled eggs- and when they’re over, they put their dishes on Cisco’s nightstand.

Cisco climbs on top of Barry and makes him lay on his back. Barry stares at him with big eyes and Cisco kisses him sweetly.

“Cisco, I meant it when I said that I loved you. And for me, this was never just… this,” he says, tracing with his palm Cisco’s back until he gets to his ass.

Cisco nods. “I love you, I love you, Barry, so much.” He kisses Barry’s face multiple times and then goes to his neck and his collarbone.  “Want to take this slow or…” he doesn’t finish his question. He knows it’s not necessary to phrase out _or you want me to fuck you hard and fast right now_.

“Hard. I’ve missed you.” His eyes travel to Cisco’s.

Cisco smiles and kisses him. “Then that’s what you’ll get, man.” He undresses Barry skillfully, leaving him naked in record time for someone without superspeed.  He takes his own clothing off too and places himself between Barry’s legs, making him whimper from the skin-to-skin contact.

Cisco keeps kissing Barry on the lips, reaching every corner of his mouth with his tongue. Barry lifts his hips and rolls them against Cisco, who’s all a teaser and loves to play with Barry’s most sensitive spots he knows will drive him crazy.

They’ve gotten to know each other’s body so well that they have a full-on guide of dos and don’ts for whatever sex stage they might want to set. They are both proud of it and they definitely make the most of their knowledge every time they must.

“Take me already,” Barry purrs, needy.

“I’m on my way,” Cisco answers and gets from the top drawer of his nightstand a condom and lube. He pours lube on his fingers and places a pair of digits in Barry’s entrance and he’s already pushing into them, so Cisco doesn’t hesitate on immediately tracing the ring with them to soon enough for Barry push them slowly in.

Cisco starts slow but quickly gets his fingers deep in Barry and starts scissoring them. Barry is desperate and getting close, so Cisco retires his fingers and leaves a trail of kisses from Barry’s hips to his lips.

“We’re getting there,” he soothes and after rolling on the condom and lubing himself, he lifts Barry’s hips with both hands. Without asking, he buries his member inside of Barry. They both let out a breath and Barry moans, starting to move against Cisco.

Cisco doesn’t say anything, just takes the message and moves inside of Barry. It takes him only a couple of thrusts to find a good pace that turns into a messy hammering. Barry’s hands can’t decide themselves over being in Cisco’s hair or on his round ass, so they switch from here to there while he moans obscenities and Cisco fucks him.

“I’m so close, Cisco, damn it,” Barry whispers, quite ashamed that he’s close that soon. He’s learned to have some control over his speed to actually enjoy sex with regular people, but in times like this, his previously acquired practice is almost useless.

“It’s good, me too, c’mon,” Cisco encourages ad moves even faster.

Barry vibrates around him like he does when he’s about to come and so he does after a few more thrusts, spilling his hot seed over their abdomens. Cisco follows almost immediately; it’s always the vibration what gets him there. He takes some seconds to recover from his orgasm, just enough to gracefully get out of Barry’s ass and lay down next to him after he does.

They don’t need to say a lot more after that. Barry is tired, but he knows it doesn’t take him too much to quickly get some tissues and do a basic cleanup. He gets them their pajama bottoms and dresses them up to return to bed beside Cisco in less than a few moments. Cisco spoons him and they are ready to fall asleep when Barry murmurs, “I love you,” and Cisco answers with just the same three words, a kiss on the back of Barry’s neck and fingers intertwined that hold the paler man’s body.

* * *

“I’ve never visited it before,” Barry tells Cisco, stepping in front of his mother’s grave.

It is a bright day and the cemetery is particularly quiet and lonely.

“Oh. Why?”

Barry releases gently his hand from Cisco’s and kneels down in front of the tombstone.

“I didn’t want to,” Barry says thoughtfully, staring at the details of Nora’s tombstone. “I felt like It would make it real and I… _couldn’t_.” He shrugs sadly. “Then I got older and after I didn’t save her I never was at peace with that, you know,” Cisco nods even when Barry can’t see him.

“It’s understandable,” He decides to reply, hoping to comfort him somehow. “I can’t imagine what it’s like going through that, but I know it must not be easy. And I think it’s normal.”

“That it’s the first time I’m here?” Barry asks in disbelief, looking up behind his back.

“That you had trouble accepting it.”

Barry nods. Despite Cisco’s language sometimes, his way of expressing from the simplest to the deepest of his feelings –using movie and TV references–  he surely knows when and how to speak from his heart.

Barry gets out of his backpack flowers and a kid’s book. It’s named The Runaway Dinosaur. Cisco is not asking about it since he’s afraid it’ll unsettle Barry or make him sad, but the speedster voluntarily tells him the backstory of the book.

“This was my favorite book as a kid. She would read it to me every night before I fell asleep. I knew it by heart and yet it got me every single time,” He says resting it against the tombstone.

“What’s it about?”

“About a little dinosaur that’s too busy comparing himself with the others so he forgets that what makes him special is that his mother is _just right_ for him.”

Barry gets up and takes a step back to stand at Cisco’s side and hold his hand again.

“That’s beautiful,” Cisco tells him and squeezes his hand.

Barry smiles at the gesture and turns to him.

“I don’t know about you, but-” Barry takes a breath, trying to organize his thoughts. “I don’t know if that’s how supposed to be in love. People who're just right for specific people.” He holds Cisco’s other hand as well. “But I feel like you and I are just right for each other. And I couldn’t take this other way than seriously, Cisco.” Cisco smiles and nods vehemently, standing on his tiptoes to rest his forehead against Barry’s.

“Hey, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon,” He whispers and Barry flashes a grin in return.

“I couldn’t be happier to hear that,” Barry answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know in this verse they’re going to live happily ever after, Henry doesn’t die and the timeline isn’t reset. 
> 
> It was tempting to write about the two remaining episodes, but I don’t know how to deal with Henry’s death and the events from The Race of His Life. It’s just a lot and I don’t want to make this dark.
> 
> btw I could write an entire novel about Cisco and Harry’s friendship, it’s so beautiful!
> 
> I'm hella stalkable right now on [tumblr](http://reid-me-like-a-book.tumblr.com/)


End file.
